The 7 Inmates with the Worst Regret on ‘Orange is the New Black’

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Literally every inmate on Orange is the New Black regrets at least one thing in their lives… most likely the choice that got them sent to Litchfield in the first place. But in episode 10 of season 4, there are a lot of other things going on that are stirring up feelings of remorse.

7. Suzanne

Regrets: Suzanne literally running away screaming from her nutty almost-girlfriend. Suzanne’s finally ready for some broom closet action and Kukudio messes around with her just enough to give her blue balls. At the same time, she may be feeling regret now, but I think we’d all agree that in the long run Crazy Eyes dodged a bullet.

6. Maritza

Regrets: ever getting involved with Maria’s drug and panty dealing. Perhaps then she wouldn’t have been seen by Sadist CO Humphrey and didn’t have to choose between eating ten dead flies or swallowing a live baby mouse.

5. Ingalls

Regrets: smuggling a cellphone into the SHU through her vagina. Now instead of her Save Sophia campaign, she’s got herself actually locked in there.

4. Luschek

Regrets: associating himself with Nicky at all, but particularly working with her to get rid of the drugs Vee left behind when she died. He may not actually be in love with her, but at the very least he thinks of her fondly. He’s the one who got her sent to Max, and also the catalyst for her going back to heroin.

3. Aleida

Regrets: being so impulsive and trusting Cesar. Though he wasn’t far off with his message: “Cesar says hi and not to act like a bitch.” It doesn’t take much for Aleida to go off (she’s generally not great at using words when experiencing high emotion) and if Cesar’s Baby Mama wasn’t so generous, she’d have nowhere else to stay now that she’s out.

2. Piper

Regrets: ugh, everything? She said she likes her scarification now that it’s a window, and should consider it as a permanent warning like Alex said: “It’s a reminder to stay out of other people’s shit.” But no! She has to go right back and fight for the honor of Flores and all disgraced prisoners. And now she’s standing on a table in the cafeteria indefinitely, smelling Flores’ pungency.

1. Anyone involved with the garden

Regrets: nothing, really. It’s hard to come up with a specific source of regret when all there is to do is mourn is the unfortunate turn of events that led to digging up the garden. It’s hard to say at this point who is going to be blamed for the hitman’s murder and subsequent dismemberment, but it’ll all go back to the garden crew. Caputo will say it wouldn’t have gotten there without their knowledge.

Future regret: Daya

She may be wanting friends her own age now that her mom’s out, but it won’t take her long to be pinned under Maria’s thumb.

And more!

Best line of the episode: “Just like that poster kitten or Jesus on the cross… you hang in there!”So inspirational.

Thank you!: For showing some compassion still exists in Caputo. He took Ingalls’ phone, took a picture of Sophia, and passed it right along to Danny so Crystal can build her case against MCC. After that Linda from Purchasing gun incident I thought he was a goner.

Questions: What the hell will happen with the body? How long before Maria recruits Daya? How long will Piper last on that table? How long will Nicky last in general?

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